I pray to god she never sees this page, because she DEFINITELY remembers this nickname.
You see, back in High School there was this gymnast that moved to my area. Short, red-head, I would rate her 6-A-C. Great score on my board. Flexible, the sexiest back muscles in the WORLD, and a true virgin (never been involved in ANY sexual activity).
I was dating Twilight at the time, a girl who I will cover in a different post. When I saw Lumberjack on her first day, she was wearing a red plaid button-up shirt that screamed "I'M A LUMBERJACK." Hence the nickname.
We spent quite a bit of time flirting around, and this other girl PB (paper bag) took notice. She liked me too. Unfortunately for PB, she only scores a 3-J-H on my board, one of the WORST scores possible. We decided we would all go out to the movies with Camera (Navy's soon to be girlfriend), her boyfriend (who Navy stole her from), PB, Lumberjack, and me. What a party.
I found myself laying back in the chair with Lumberjack curled up to my right and PB to my left. I was playing with Lumberjack's hair, touching her in ALL the right places, feeling her get hot and everything. Unfortunately, with PB there we couldn't do anything. That moment came when we started to get up, where Lumberjack's gaze met mine and we held that gaze, mere inches (at the most 2) from each others' lips, knowing we couldn't kiss but desperately wanting too. Yeah, mushy romantic, I get it. This was right after Miss Magnet so I was still a total nub.
We decided the next day that we should date, exclusively, much to the sorrow of PB. We enjoyed the short time we had together, before Ankle-biter got involved (ex-g/f, the one immediately following Miss Magnet) and convinced Lumberjack that I was only using her for sex. Well lemme tell you something, that PISSED ME OFF. But it gets better. A week goes by, I'm still talking to Lumberjack (as friends), when she tells me that she wants me.... yeah, get this....... to take her....... wait for it...... virginity. BAM I'm in. I start meeting her in the hallways after school, making out with her and fingering her. I go over to her house late at night to "play xbox" with her and her brother, which always wound up with us cuddling on the couch and my hands down her pants to the point where she would tell me to take them out so I wouldn't cause her to make too much noise ;-) I was on fire. Until the fateful day when she lost her virginity. Yeah, it wasn't to me. It was to the 7'th grader down the street, who is now dating my sister's friend Connecticut. Can you believe that shit? A sophmore in high school chooses to lose her virginity to a middle-school student. WTF?!
Here is where the lesson is learned - she still wanted me. But I freaked out and got pissed and ruined ANY chance of us ever being together. Totally trashed. What I wouldn't give to go back and bitch-slap myself for being such an idiot. So let this be a lesson to you guys : If you really wanna screw a girl who is doing the "friends with benefits" (FWB) deal, DON'T GET MAD IF SHE SLEEPS WITH SOMEONE ELSE! You are FWB for a REASON. Don't blow it.
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Here I am going to describe some of my escapades and the result of my encounters. I will then attempt to dissect the psychology involved in each encounter to give a better understanding of the situation to my readers.
Rating System
I have seen many different rating systems before. The most common is a 1-10 rating system, that only accounts for looks. Tucker Max uses a 5 star rating system, which again is mostly attached to looks. Well here I will attempt to describe my rating system, which attempts to approach 3 aspects of the human being.
7-J-D
This is a score from my system. The system is different for men and women, simply because different things are important. Men notice looks first, while women tend to look for personality. How many hot men have you seen with ugly women? Now how many hot women have you seen with ugly men? See where I'm going with this?
Men :
7 -> looks. On a scale of 2-10, 10 being the highest, this is a rating of her body and face. A seven, being slightly higher, is still a pretty average score. 6 is the lowest I will stoop too, with 5 being too low for me.
J -> Personality. This is on a range from J-A, with the levels being Jack, Queen, King, Ace (starting to see the pattern yet?). Clearly, an Ace is the highest, with Jack being the lowest. It is graded just like the numbers are, and should be treated just like a numerical value.
D -> Interest/intent. This is not quite on a range, but more on a categorical listing. Diamonds, Hearts, Spades, Clubs. The diamonds are your typical gold-diggers, people who HAVE to have the finer things in life to function. These people are impossible to please unless you are rich, and are usually avoided because of such. General rule of thumb, if she is a diamond she's probably a Jack too. Hearts are your hopeless romantics, people who HAVE to have a commitment that is constantly being tested to be happy. I hate these relationships because there is always drama involved. General rule of thumb, if she is a heart she is probably not scoring higher than a 6. Spades are your work-a-holics/sport fanatics. These people exist to compete, and can be quite fun to be around. Personally, I try to avoid them at all costs. Clubs are the last category. This category involves casual street musicians, casual artists, people who live to have fun. More often than not they don't hold a job very well, or don't have a job, but are a blast to be around. I love Clubs more than any of the other classes, and try to associate with them more than anything. Happy-go-lucky, for the win (FTW).
Women : The scale is exactly the same as it is for men, with one slight switch. The personality and looks ranges have been traded with each other. In other words, a man with a rating 7-J-D is a guy with a pretty decent personality, who is ugly and obsessed with designer labels. Could be a funny fashion designer or actor. On the other hand, a woman with the same score would be a rather attractive (though still average) woman with a horrible personality who is also obsessed with labels. Typically your average teenage girl, in my honest opinion (IMHO).
I hope this all makes sense to you, but if it doesn't e-mail me at malicia.capo@yahoo.com with your questions so I can update my material accordingly.
7-J-D
This is a score from my system. The system is different for men and women, simply because different things are important. Men notice looks first, while women tend to look for personality. How many hot men have you seen with ugly women? Now how many hot women have you seen with ugly men? See where I'm going with this?
Men :
7 -> looks. On a scale of 2-10, 10 being the highest, this is a rating of her body and face. A seven, being slightly higher, is still a pretty average score. 6 is the lowest I will stoop too, with 5 being too low for me.
J -> Personality. This is on a range from J-A, with the levels being Jack, Queen, King, Ace (starting to see the pattern yet?). Clearly, an Ace is the highest, with Jack being the lowest. It is graded just like the numbers are, and should be treated just like a numerical value.
D -> Interest/intent. This is not quite on a range, but more on a categorical listing. Diamonds, Hearts, Spades, Clubs. The diamonds are your typical gold-diggers, people who HAVE to have the finer things in life to function. These people are impossible to please unless you are rich, and are usually avoided because of such. General rule of thumb, if she is a diamond she's probably a Jack too. Hearts are your hopeless romantics, people who HAVE to have a commitment that is constantly being tested to be happy. I hate these relationships because there is always drama involved. General rule of thumb, if she is a heart she is probably not scoring higher than a 6. Spades are your work-a-holics/sport fanatics. These people exist to compete, and can be quite fun to be around. Personally, I try to avoid them at all costs. Clubs are the last category. This category involves casual street musicians, casual artists, people who live to have fun. More often than not they don't hold a job very well, or don't have a job, but are a blast to be around. I love Clubs more than any of the other classes, and try to associate with them more than anything. Happy-go-lucky, for the win (FTW).
Women : The scale is exactly the same as it is for men, with one slight switch. The personality and looks ranges have been traded with each other. In other words, a man with a rating 7-J-D is a guy with a pretty decent personality, who is ugly and obsessed with designer labels. Could be a funny fashion designer or actor. On the other hand, a woman with the same score would be a rather attractive (though still average) woman with a horrible personality who is also obsessed with labels. Typically your average teenage girl, in my honest opinion (IMHO).
I hope this all makes sense to you, but if it doesn't e-mail me at malicia.capo@yahoo.com with your questions so I can update my material accordingly.
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